Rep. McMorris Rodgers: Congratulations on your accomplishments so far this year -- hilarious!
The majority of your legislative agenda, obviously, has been devoted to your role in the Trump Crime Family's retribution campaign, no matter how silly it makes you look which, so far, is quite silly. We love it when our elected official is entertaining -- bravo!
We also see your agenda being shaped by donors. You boast about bringing broadband to rural communities, but the legislation your donors gave you to propose outlaws municipal and community broadband. It is possible you think your donors' legislation will somehow bring broadband to more rural residents by outlawing one of their options. Or, maybe you are aware of the dark side of your proposed legislation. Either way, you come across as unqualified for a job that should be performed by a thinking person.
We have been thinking about the root causes of your unawareness. Presumably, most of it comes from your lack of education. The story we heard is that you were raised in the dark in Canada without access to schooling.
Your "official" biographies claim you graduated from Pensacola Christian College in 1990. Your Facebook page includes a photo of you holding a PCC diploma standing next to your immediate family member. So, we will assume you did "graduate" from that unaccredited "college" in 1990. But, if that is true, then the rest of your history seems false.
Your various official biographies claim you graduated from Kettle Falls High School in 1986, but also "Columbia River Christian Academy" in 1986, and also Kettle Falls High School in 1988. Are any of these true?
According to your bio, you were born in May, 1969. So, in June 1986, you were one month past your 17th birthday. Americans do not graduate high school at age 17, unless they have skipped a grade. We doubt it, since you never attended school.
We took a twitter poll to try to find one of your 1986 KFHS classmates, but no one admits to attending any class with you. No one remembers you.
We conclude your claim to have graduated from KFHS in 1986 is untrue.
You may have "graduated" at age 17 from "Columbia River Christian Academy" in 1986 -- a unaccredited "school" fully out of compliance with Washington education regulations.
You couldn't have been lawfully homeschooled. Homeschooling in WA requires that the homeschooling instructor be college educated, but you have told us that you are the first in your family to attend "college".
We conclude that you may have obtained a GED from KFHS in 1988 and that your official bios have tried to obscure this dark secret about you. This is similar to Rep. Boebert, another armed Christian trump-cultist mom who also only has a GED, but at least she is honest about it.
Or maybe you have no GED -- just the fake CRCA "graduation" and the fake PCC "graduation".
In your race against Dr. Brown, your official WA Voters Guide materials claimed you earned an "MBA" from University of Washington, but you were never an MBA student at UW. The UW's Foster School of Business MBA program requires the GRE or GMAT, an undergraduate degree from an accredited college, plus a high school diploma, and you have none of those.
In other materials, you claim to have an "EMBA", which program the UW will offer to people based on job experience if they lack the college pre-requisites, as you lack. So, what did you tell UW about your educational background. KFHS 1986? (Unaccredited) CRCA in 1986? KFHS in 1988? GED in 1988? (Unaccredited) PCC in 1990?
It is possible you told the truth on your UW application, and that you deserved a chance to enroll in the EMBA program based on the truth. But our guess is, based on your history of narrative-serving obfuscation, that you did not tell the truth to UW, and you deprived a deserving student of your spot in the program.
We have lost faith in your ability to tell the truth. You are pregnant with trump and carrying him full term, no matter how absolutely silly it makes you look. Lying about whether you attended high school makes you look even more silly.
So, Congresswoman, can you clarify? Did you attend and graduate from KFHS, as you claim, at age 17? Did you tell the University of Washington the truth in your EMBA application?
It is possible you are not lying, but, based on your role in the Trump Crime Family's retribution campaign, we doubt it. Your Spokesman Review quote of the reason for your planned 1/6 vote against democracy: "[PA] recorded 205,112 more votes than voters." Most 8th graders could de-bunk that in under one minute using Snopes, or in under five minutes using the PA official website. But, you went with it -- embarrassing yourself and demonstrating your lack of voting literacy. Either (1) you are a fool, or (2) you knew that the "205,112" lie you were given to lie about was a lie, and you chose to lie anyway, like a lying liar. Since you have never acknowledged that "205,112" was incorrect (or apologized for it), we'll assume you chose lying.
Thinking people in your District, democrats and republicans alike, are embarrassed to have a corrupt, incurious, trump-cultist as their Congressperson - especially one with temerity to lie about attending high school. Please consider resigning so that your District can be represented by a person who is not beholden to a criminal, as you obviously are (despite the First Commandment).
If your staff is keeping track, put us down as FOR our Congresswoman falsely claiming to have graduated an accredited high school at age 17, because that is hilarious given that the Congresswoman seems entirely uneducated; but, put us down as AGAINST our Congresswoman lying about her educational background to earn an exception to the University of Washington's admissions policies, because that deprived a deserving student of admission to our state's flagship educational institution.
Have a nice day.